


They don't need to know

by Kirabera



Category: Gintama
Genre: Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 22:27:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17948300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirabera/pseuds/Kirabera
Summary: Early Gintama feels. Gin-san is a lazy, dead-fish-eyed, sweets-adoring dumb adult, but why is he the way that he is? A reveal on how Gintoki feels on the inside. One-shot.





	They don't need to know

They don't need to know.

" _Gin-chan, you eat too much sweet stuff aru."_  
They don't need to know that I eat sweets to get rid of the bitterness of blood and flesh from my mouth. Sweets ease the constant pain in my heart; after years of being surrounded by corpses, everything tastes of hopelessness and despair, and sweetness is now the only thing I can taste.  
So I said, "I'm sorry! But I feel unbearably restless if I don't eat sweet things constantly!" I made the pouting face of a child. Kagura rolled her eyes.

" _Gin-san… So… Why are they dead fish eyes?"_  
They don't need to know how I hate the true look of my eyes. My eyes are those of a ruthless demon. These dead fish eyes may be dumb-looking, but I don't want them to see, and fear, the eyes of the Shiroyasha. I want to be their dead-fish-eyed Gin-san. I will only unleash the Shiroyasha in battle.  
So I yawned and made my eyes look even lazier. "Shut up, Shinpachi." I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.

" _That man… Why is he going to such great lengths to protect us?"_  
They don't need to know how I despise my weak self for not having been able to protect those dear to me. I've lost my friends, my comrades. I've lost Shouyou-Sensei. I've lost my comrades, my friends. I've lost everything. That is why now that there's something in front of me that needs to be protected, I will do so even if it costs me my life.  
So I took my battle stance, as Tae and Shinpachi stood behind the protection of my sword and my body, and growled at the enemy, "I don't have anything left anymore. But I want to protect at least whatever is in front of me at the moment!" And I took my sword and fought, and fought, and fought.

Men are beings who communicate via actions.

They don't need to know everything. They just need to know that I will always protect them, no matter what.  
And that I will always love them, no matter what.

Nothing else matters anymore…

So they don't need to know.


End file.
